An uncomfortable audience
by Jotter
Summary: HarryRuth. Spoilers for 5.05. Adam and Zaf find out that sometimes, being a spy really does get you down.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own, nor claim to own, anything to do with Spooks. That honour belongs to the people at Kudos and The BBC. I'm just playing around with a couple of their characters, I promise they'll be nice and clean when I hand them back.

**Spoiler Warning: **If you've not seen episode **5.05** then you might want to watch it first before reading this.

**Other bits and bobs: **D'ya know I've got _no _idea where this came from... it hit me about 10 minutes ago, and I've not really fully proof-read it (I know, tsk!), so I apologise for any spelling/grammatical errors. Please do R&R :o).

**An Uncomfortable Audience**

"We shouldn't be here" Adam said to Zaf as he handed back the binoculars to the younger man beside him.

"You were the one who suggested it" Zaf reminded him, looking out the window of their black Mercedes, which glared obviously out of place amongst the dockyard machinery and boat engines propped against their motionless counterparts, waiting to be fixed.

"I know, but I just wanted to see what was going to happen... now I feel a bit, well, bad" Adam watched as Harry and Ruth stood talking to each other, about 50m away from their position, oblivious to their audience.

"What do you think they're saying?" Zaf asked, raising the binoculars back to his eyes for a better view.

"I don't know... for once I think I'm pleased that we haven't got any bugs anywhere near them" Adam replied, meaning what he said. He'd hate to be listening in on this one. Normally he considered it a perk of the job to be able to hear what people were saying in what they considered to be private conversations, but this time it all felt a little too private for them to be listening into.

Both spies held their breath as Ruth seemed to turn and made to board the boat

"Is that it? He's just going to let her go like that, after everything?" Zaf said it before he could stop himself. He secretly hoped, deep down, that Harry had a plan up his sleeve that would mean Ruth didn't have to leave entirely. He knew it was a thin chance. But he also knew that Harry had one of the greatest minds going and that a slim chance was better than none.

"Surely not" Adam agreed, reaching for the binoculars eagerly, and both men sat up straighter to see a little clearer as Ruth stopped.

"Come on Harry, where's that famous field-courage gone?" Inside, Zaf realised that he sounded rather like he was either watching a film or a football match, but again, he couldn't help himself. This was going to be it, surely.

"Yes" Adam breathed out, as Ruth leant forward and kissed Harry.

"I knew there was something between those two as soon as I walked onto the grid" Zaf spoke up '_almost like you and Fiona_' he nearly added, but stopped himself just in time.

"They should've done something about it sooner though..." Adam continued, his voice noteably dropping as they watched Ruth get on the boat, which then moved away from the dock. Another chance of happiness snatched away. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of this job, where all he seemed to be seeing is lives being destroyed. '_Tom, Zoe, Danny, Fiona, Colin, Ruth_' the names were like a mantra, all the people who he'd seen, known. Lost.

Both men were silent for a while, the atmosphere in the car deepening. They watched Harry as he stood on the dock, watching Ruth until the boat she was on disappeared from sight.

"How long do you think he's going to stand there?" Zaf asked then, feeling increasingly uncomfortable, watching their boss's supposedly private moment of thought.

"If he loved her as much as I think he did, he's going to be there a while" Adam responded, feeling a pull in his chest at the familiar feeling of heatbreak that seemed to be coming from Harry in waves. It wasn't fair. Not a lot of things were fair these days.

"There was nothing else we could have done" Zaf said then, as though reading Adam's thoughts.

"I know, I know. But this" he gestured towards where Harry's lone silhouette stood "is such an unjust outcome".

"Come on" Zaf nodded "let's get out of here" he started the engine of the car and drove away. It would be hard pretending that he'd not seen this all-too-human side to his section head when he next saw him on the Grid. It was hard sometimes to remember that they were all real people, with real feelings and real emotions. The job they did tend to harded everyone up to being open like that.

At the dock's edge, Harry turned around and watched the car leave. It was only then that he let the hard, racking sobs of despair that he had so far managed to keep at bay overcome him as he stared at a spot on the horizon, at the last place he'd seen Ruth before she'd disappeared. The image of the boat getting smaller and smaller was imprinted onto his mind, like the feeling of her lips burned against his.

**End**


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